The labour scoop...

Callie is asleep in the Snugli right now, so I might as well take the chance to post while I can.  Some of you have been wanting to hear all about my labour/delivery so I'll give you as best a description as possible, without giving too many gory details :)

I guess it all started on Sunday night (June 28).  I was up all night, with significantly stronger contractions than I had ever had, and they were coming every 3-4 min., lasting 60-75 seconds long.  I kept debating whether to wake Jon to head into the hospital, but kept worrying that we would just get there and be sent away with news that I still wasn't dilated.  So after a very sleepless night (I only got about 2 hours of actual sleep), things died off in the early hours of the morning.  We got up bright and early to call the hospital for confirmation of induction and were told to be there at 7:30am.  So we packed everything up and headed to the hospital.  After monitoring the baby for an hour and waiting for my doctor to arrive, they finally gave me the induction gel at about 9am.  Then they sent us home and said to come back if anything happened, or if there was no effect, then to come back just after 2pm so they could gel me again.  

So we drove home, ate some lunch and I tried desperately to get a bit of sleep, in preparation for pending labour.  2:00pm came and nothing had happened so we went back to the hospital for round #2 of the gel.  After inducing me the second time (at around 3pm), they again, sent us home and said to come back at 8pm for round #3 OR if I went into labour in the meanwhile.  We left the hospital, picked up some supper and while we were driving home, the contractions started up.  And they were strong!  By the time we got home, things were definitely progressing and the contractions were coming every 2-4 min., lasting over a minute each time.  And more importantly, they were getting more and more unbearable.  I tried to eat as much as I could but by 5:00pm, I was already in HARD labour.  Jon kept asking if we should go to the hospital but after being told ALL DAY, that I was still only 1cm dilated, I wanted to be able to labour at home as long as possible.  

Well... that plan went out the window fairly quickly, as the contractions were just too much to handle by 6pm.  

We arrived back at the hospital by 6:15pm and were promptly admitted.  Much to my dismay, they found that I was still only about 1-2cm dilated.  So I spent the next few hours switching back and forth between the hot shower, and rocking my hips back and forth, hunched over my bed.  By 10:30pm (and feeling utterly EXHAUSTED by this point), my doctor informed me that they were going to have to do an epidural because my body just wasn't progressing (I was still only 1-2cm) and things needed to get moving.  I had really, REALLY wanted to avoid an epidural, but by that stage, I was desperate for some relief and knew that my doctor knew what was best for me.  

So by about 11pm, the epidural was in and, my oh my... what sweet, sweet relief!  I know some of you are probably "anti-epidural" but from my experience, EVERYONE should get one :)  It was incredible!  I was even able to sleep a bit over the next hours as the pain was virtually gone.  Once the epidural had been given, I started to progress really quickly.  I went from 1cm to 4, in an hour, and then the last 6cm only took another 2-3 hours.  By 3:00am, it was time to push.  

The next sucky part of the labour was that Callie didn't seem to want to come out with the coaxing of my pushing alone, and they had to use the vacuum.  The resident was doing the delivery with my doctor standing by, and the vacuum kept popping off when he would start to pull.  I found this TERRIBLY disconcerting because every time it popped off, I thought that her head had finally come out, and was totally demoralized when they informed me that it was just the vacuum coming loose.  Finally my doctor took over and by 3:55am, Callie was in my arms.

  

Words cannot describe what the moment felt like.  I've heard a lot of people say that its like an 'out-of-body-experience' and I would completely agree.  I wanted so desperately to soak in the moment but it was just so surreal.  I felt like I was watching someone else's experience, rather than experiencing it myself.  

They laid her on my chest right away and let her stay there for a good 15 min. or so while they assessed my injuries.  I was then informed that I had 3rd & 4th degree tearing (which I did in fact feel-- the epidural isn't able to numb all the outer tissue so I still felt the whole delivery) and that they were going to have to bring in the obstetrician to repair the damage, as my doctor just didn't feel he would do a sufficient job.  Thankfully, I was very focused on Callie as they sewed me up, and I tried to keep my eyes fixed on her as they cleaned her & weighed her.  

So there you have it.  The full scoop on my labour & delivery (well... pretty much :)).  I saw my doctor last week and he's very happy with Callie's growth & progress and was pleased to see that my healing was going well too.  Unfortunately though, he figures I still have another 6-8 weeks of recovery before I will be "100%" again.  But I can say in total honesty, that each day gets a little bit easier and I'm feeling WAY better this week, than even last.  So I feel fairly optimistic that things will feel normal again someday :)

And as for life with Callie, things are going great!  She's such a joy and is truly an exceptionally good baby.  She slept through the night at 12 days old, and only gets up 1-2 times a night to feed now.  I really can't complain.  When she's awake, she's very alert and has even given us a few big smiles (even though we know they're probably just due to passing gas :)).  Life just feels so right with her around and its hard to even remember life before her.  We are loving our Callie-bear :)

Curious??

I know many of you are probably dying to hear about Callie's birth story and get an update on how things are going here at the Esau household.  I promise to get around to it someday soon but for now, I've designated this week to spending as much time getting to know my little girl as I can, and sleeping as often as she does :)  Plus, Jon's sister, Susanne, is getting married on Saturday so the next few days are packed full of wedding stuff.  

So hang in there... I will be updating soon.  And just for the record, things are going well.  Each day gets a little better (ie: my healing, Callie's feeding, etc.) and we're loving life as parents!  Its hard to even remember the days before Callie arrived.  Life just feels right with her here.

Be back soon!  Here are a few pictures to tide you over until then... :)

Introducing...

Callie Lauryn Esau

Born June 30, 2009

@ 3:55am

8 lbs. 3 0z.

21 inches.

... and simply perfect...

... We're SO in love...

(Many, many more pictures to come...)

Quick update on D-day...

Well, today is the baby's due date and obviously, I'm still very much pregnant considering I'm sitting at my computer writing this.  But with the countless questions and inquiries I've been getting, I thought I'd just give you a brief update, and hope that this will be the last I have to give before the big event. :)

I woke up this morning at around 4:00am with fairly intense contractions.  They lasted til about 6:00am but were very sporadic and inconsistent so I was pretty certain that I wasn't actually in labour.  Plus, everything stopped shortly after 6am and didn't start up again.  But I still felt quite optimistic because I had a doctor's appt. set for 11:40am and was going to have another membrane sweep.  At my last appt., my doctor found that I wasn't dilated yet but that my cervix was very soft and he was able to sweep about 1cm.  I figured with this morning's "false labour," and the "burst of energy" I got a few days ago (the final "nesting" period, so I'm told) that surely, this membrane sweep would do the trick.  Either that, or my doctor would find that I was already dilated at least a bit.  Alas, this was not the case.  I had already prepared myself for "bad news," but had still really hoped that he'd find I had progressed.  Unfortunately, I still hadn't dilated at all.  He said that the baby had moved down a bit more and was definitely engaged, and my cervix was again, very soft and easy to sweep (he was able to do 1cm again), but that was it.  

So... if nothing happens in the next few days, I have an appt. set for Thursday in which he'll do another sweep, and if that doesn't do it, my induction has been set for Monday, June 29.  All I can do is pray that I don't go to induction--- for two reasons.  A) I would just really prefer to go into labour naturally, and B) Craig & Jen fly in that day and I really didn't want to be in hospital when they arrive.  So if you think of it, please send up a prayer that baby would join us sooner than Monday :)  And even better... tonight would be a great night to go into labour, as my doctor is on for labour/delivery at the hospital tomorrow and I would love to have him there to 'do the honours' :)

PS:  Sarah S. ... if you're reading this, I did try the stairs and will continue to do it.  I walked up and down our main flight of stairs 20 times the other night ('til my legs felt like jello and I was ready to puke!)  And that was after we had already gone for a long walk around the neighbourhood.  I went for another LONG walk at the river with my parents tonight and will climb our stairs 'til I'm blue in the face, if that's what it takes :)  At least its a healthy way of trying to bring on this baby! 

Our newest addition...

... unfortunately, I'm not talking about our baby.  Sorry... didn't mean to get anyone's hopes up :)  

Jon and I finally got a new camera this week!  Our other one (which we've had for over 5 years now) has been on the fritz for a while and has been completely unpredictable.  I'm never quite sure how the pictures will turn out, regardless of how clear they may look on the camera's screen.  And for the most part, they always seem to be blurry and out of focus.  A camera wasn't exactly something we had been planning on investing in any time soon, but with babe's due date quickly approaching, we wanted to be sure that we'd get some good shots of him/her when we welcome them into the world.  So, we started doing some research and finally decided on the Canon SX110 IS.  We've been watching the flyers and checking the stores for sales, and finally, we found it for a great price at FutureShop on Thursday night.  We haven't really had a chance to play around with it much yet, but are very impressed with the little we have seen so far.

One of the biggest reasons we rushed out to hunt for the camera on Thursday night, was due to the fact that things seemed to be progressing in the way of labour.  I use the word "seemed" quite strongly because unfortunately, things came to a halt fairly soon after that.  But none the less, we thought that "little kicker" may be joining us sooner than we had expected, and figured we'd better get the camera before it was too late :)

I had my weekly doctor's appt. on Tuesday.  They told me a while back, that they would start sweeping my membranes at the 38 week mark, in hopes of preventing induction.  The idea of having things start naturally sounded great to me, and of course, the thought of not having to go overdue seemed perfect as well.  So Tuesday's appt. marked the first attempt.  To my disappointment (even though it wasn't that surprising), the doctor wasn't quite able to do the sweep, as my cervix was still hard and tough to reach.  He and the nurse tried to encourage me that "things change very quickly" and I shouldn't lose hope.  They'd try again next week.

So off I went, a bit discouraged, but trying to tell myself that it wouldn't be much longer.  Well... by the next day, I started to feel "different."  I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew that I was feeling somewhat out of the ordinary.  And sure enough, I lost my "plug" later that afternoon.  Then, throughout the night, and into the afternoon on Thursday, I felt incredibly crampy and uncomfortable.  After talking to my friend's mom (who is a maternity nurse), it became clear that I most likely had lost my mucus plug and could very well go into labour at any point.  Or.... it could still be a matter of weeks :(  But, none the less, Tuesday's exam had obviously progressed things to some degree, and that was encouraging.  

So as soon as Jon got home from work on Thursday, it was quickly decided that we'd grab something to eat at the mall and do a lot of walking, in hopes of starting labour.  Plus, get the camera while we were at it ;)  But... much to my dismay, all cramping & mild contracting completely stopped by the time evening hit and I had a strong feeling that there wasn't going to be any action that night. 

Turns out, I was right.  So... we went for a LONG walk at the river trail last night, hoping that maybe, JUST MAYBE, it would be enough to get things going.  Jon and I both agreed that having the baby on the weekend would be fantastic because then he wouldn't have to miss as much work during the week.  But, we all know that these things are out of our hands :)  

I did have some mild contractions while we were walking, and a few in the middle of the night, but again... no real action.

So... I guess Jr. isn't quite ready to make his/her appearance just yet.  I know I'm still a week away from my due date, but my brother & sister-in-law arrive for a visit from SK, on June 29 and it would be SO nice to be somewhat "on the road to recovery" before they get here.  I only get to see them once a year so I'd really like to be able to enjoy our time with them, and think it would be so much easier to do so, if I'm not just getting out of the hospital when they arrive.  But again, I realize that its all in God's hands and His timing will be just right, even if its not my timing.  

My doctor will be sweeping my membranes every week now (or as many times a week) as is necessary to avoid going overdue so hopefully, this Tuesday's appt. will be successful.  If not, I guess we'll just keep waiting, as patiently as is humanly possible at this point, and going for more river walks :)  I'll be sure to keep you all posted... 

Pregnancy photo shoot...

Here I am at 38 weeks. 

And just when I thought I couldn't get any bigger... :)

We got our pregnancy pictures back from Roxanna late last week.  We're absolutely thrilled with how they turned out.  Click on the link below if you want to check them out...

Jon & Bonnie's Pregnancy Photo Shoot

Saying goodbye...

My Granny passed away yesterday (my mom's mom).  She was my only surviving Grandparent and we were so thrilled that she was going to be around for the birth of her first great grandchild.  We had planned on naming the baby after her if it was a girl.  It just breaks my heart to know that she didn't quite make it long enough to hear the news of this new little life.  

All of my Mom's family are over in South Africa so even though Gran wouldn't have been here to meet the baby, I know she would have been thrilled to hear of its arrival.  I'm just so glad that my Mom was able to share with her over the phone, that the baby would be her namesake if it was indeed a girl.  She seemed to be so touched and excited about that.  

I just wish we could turn back the clock... have the chance to say good-bye... tell her how much we love her and how we're not ready to let her go...

We love you so much Gran.  May you know that you will 

always be missed and the void that is now left will 

never be filled.  Thank-you for the love & joy you brought

to our lives, even though we have been so far away.

We wish we could've had you here forever.  We love you...

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Clinging to the promise, that when life feels like too much... when the pain is too great, 

He will hold us in His arms.  

... This is what it means to be held.

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

and you survive.

This is what it means to be loved.

And to know that the promise was

when everything fell,

we'd be held...

-- Natalie Grant --

Sunny days & a sweaty countdown...

Its hard to believe that I'm already half way through my first week of mat leave.  The weather has been the ultimate reward--- +30 degrees everyday.  I heard today is supposed to hit +33 or +34.  And its only June 3.  We could be in for a very hot summer if this keeps up.  Yesterday's heat made me extremely grateful for the fact that I won't have to be pregnant through the hottest part of the summer.  If this is June, and I'm already perma-sweating, then I can't imagine how brutal July & August might be!  Thank goodness I only have another couple of weeks to go :)

Only 19 days til "D-day."  Wow.  I'm not sure its even sunk in that I will be holding a baby in my arms so soon.  I mean, we've been preparing for months and counting down the days, but its still so hard to imagine what that day will be like.  Plus, the reality that I still have to get through the labour part is a little daunting.  Ok... so its a lot daunting :)  But thankfully the excitement that continues to build as we get closer and closer, helps that part feel a bit less intimidating.  Maybe that's naive.  Or maybe its just positive thinking.  Either way, I'm eagerly anticipating the moment when labour is a distant memory, and cuddling our little one becomes a part of every day life.  I truly can't wait!

The finished product...

Well, the nursery is pretty much finished. All I have left to do is hang some picture frames above the crib, once we actually have some photos of our little Esau Jr.  Other than that, I think we're good to go!

... Pre-crib sleeping arrangements ...

Our playpen came with a detachable bassinet so we'll be able to have the baby sleep in our room for the first few weeks.  

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By the way, I just tallied up the Baby Poll guesses and so far there are:

16 for GIRL

&

14 for BOY

If you haven't guessed yet and would like to, add your comment on today's post and I'll add it to the "poll spreadsheet." :)  Prize will go to the closest 'over-all' guess!  

36 weeks...

9 months pregnant and waiting anxiously...

On and on...

Is it just me or does life literally seem to pass by more and more quickly, the older we get? I feel like its a little out of control to be honest. How can it possibly be May 21 already!?! And if its May 21, then that makes tomorrow the 22nd. And that means that our due date is ONE MONTH AWAY!! Sheesh. Where has the time gone?

The one bonus to nearing the end of May is that our weather is getting better and better. Sunshine, blue skies and mid to high 20 temperatures are becoming the norm and are, obviously, more than welcomed. I checked the forecast yesterday and it said that by Monday, we're supposed to be up to 30+ celcius. Yes please! :)

On a different note... I've been feeling extra thankful for my husband lately. Not only has he been super supportive through this pregnancy, but he's so willing to step up to the plate in the areas that I'm less able to now. Last night, he informed me that I was to mark this Saturday on our calendar as "loose ends day." I am not allowed to schedule anything else for that day. He said he plans to clean the house from TOP to BOTTOM--- "nothing will go untouched," were his exact words. :) He then plans to work on the basement a bit more, get any other baby room projects completed and anything else I may have in mind. What a good man. I just love him to bits and can't help but smile at his continually growing excitement for the baby's arrival. I'm SO blessed! (side note: the nursery is almost completed, so I'll post pictures next week.)

We finish up our last prenatal class tonight and both Jon & I are very ready to be finished. Its not that it hasn't been beneficial, but its a 2 hour class, every Thursday evening and it will be nice to have our evenings less busy. Tonight's class is all about post-partum and then the last half of the class will be our hospital visit. I would usually be quite excited about the maternity ward visit, but having spent a few days there earlier in this pregnancy, its nothing new to me :) None the less, it will be good to go through the registration info. and meet some of the staff.

I'm really looking forward to next Tuesday evening. We're having some pregnancy photos taken by a woman from our church. You can check her out at http://www.roxannajphotography.com/. I'll be sure to post some pictures once we get them back.

Sorry this isn't a very exciting post. I don't have any pictures to share. We were at our friends, Kevin & Ashley's, wedding this last weekend and I'm quickly realizing how badly we need to invest in a new camera. Almost all of my pictures were blurry and out of focus so I don't even have any to add to this post. But I'll definitely try to come up with some nursery & pregnancy photos for the next one.

Blast ball & Birthdays...

Our nephew Konrad is playing on a "blast ball" team this spring, so Jon and I joined the family at Sardis Park on Saturday morning to see him in action. It was pretty cute watching all the kids stand distracted in the field and then dog-pile when the ball was finally hit in their direction.

Getting ready to hit a home run...

After the game, we all headed back to Erich & Naomi's for Calvin's 1st birthday party.  Its so hard to believe that a whole year has already passed since we went to meet him in the hospital for the first time.  I know its awfully cliche, but kids really do grow up too fast :)  He's become such a little boy and is always quick to offer a smile and outstretched arms.  We love his easy-going spirit and the distinct personality he has.  We feel so blessed to have the niece & nephews we have. 

I don't think Calvin really understood the business of having a birthday and had most of his gifts opened by his very eager brother and sister... :)

As you can see here, eating the gift wrap was far more interesting to the birthday boy...

Seeing as Calvin's birthday is in the spring, Naomi had the great idea of doing a "worms & dirt" cake, and took it one step further with her creativity by making the layered dessert in a bucket.  It was so cute & SO tasty :)

Getting a taste of cake for the first time.  He was a little hesitant at first, but as soon as he realized how good it was, he didn't hold back...

Mozart in the making...

Happy Birthday Calvin! 

We love you so much and can't wait to see you continue to grow over the next year!

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And to finish off the post, here's a belly shot at 34 weeks.  

Not much longer now...

Thank-you to everyone who has entered their guess in the baby poll.  If you want to put your guess in and haven't had a chance to yet, be sure to go to the comments on the last post and let us know what you think.